THE WALL OF FACES

You are the best of a generation. Your life is inspirational to those who aspire to be courageous leaders like you. Your bravery is no forgotten.

Sherman is buried at St Augustine Cemetery, Carthage, NC. BSM PH

I will never forget you even after all these years. I will never forget the words you told me. They are engraved into my soul. I am fortunate to have known and served with you. It was your decision that I am alive today. I hope in your eyes that I have earned the right to say your character is my guidance and your sense of rightiousness my strength. Take care Sarge we will meet again...

I will always love and keep you dear to my heart. Your spirit lives on.

I started 13 days ago to let you know what has happened over the past 33 years, but as it turned out after writing about all of the tragedies and blessings that have transpired since your death my internet connection went down. I will just say not a day goes by that I don't remember you and your wife, my mother. You see she died under strange circumstances on December 30,1969, that to this day has never been resolved. So with your casket being closed, per my mother's request based on a close military's friend advice, I had no idea if you had been killed or not. It took me many years of wondering!! So many rumors surrounding your death and mother's death, so as a dependent at that time I was left to my own defenses, it seemed the military didn't care if I had counseling or support systems since you both were gone. Well, I can say that indirectly, as a military dependent I was affected, and of course I will carry the scars to my grave. There still seems to be alienation,hurt/divisions among living family members, some went to their graves carrying grief over both of your deaths and the way that they happened.

Father,unfortunately,there is still blatant and insidious forms of racism, but there is also still hope for this country. You and many others of color gave your life for a country that still isn't doing all that they could do for fairness and equity. You have to search for anything that they do offer,good example,since your were a purple heart recipient,I found out after going to library to look up college scholarships for your eldest grandchild,that they had one for both children and grandchildren of recipients of the Purple Heart, but you never know if they are being fair about who they award it to. You see people of color have so many other struggles that those of anglo descent will never have one clue about. Even the struggle for reparations to people of color is an issue. It seems there is never a problem giving reparations to Jews,Japanese,or any others who don't have 1/8 of African blood in them. But now at least on the government census form I didn't have to lie and choose only African American, since I know that I'm American with African/Indian/Anglo blood in my veins. Well, I went to the first memorial day service May 28,2001, though my first visit to the wall was in 1991 and later with your grandchild who is in one of the armed force branches now, ironic,because I did not expose my children to anything dealing with military, and also your one and only great grandchild visited it in 1997 though she is too young to remember it, (but will take her again when she is older) while she was on leave with her mother from Germany. It is really something,she will be almost 6 yrs old before living in the states since she was born in Germany and then went to Japan. Now I have to take your other grandchild to visit. She is going to get her BA in broadcast communications in December 2001. She played great basketball from middle school through college thanks to your genes and the one in the military have received nice awards and working to complete her BA also and played the alto sax for 6 yrs including being in the marching band and running track, so I know you would have been proud of them.
I want you to know I had a hard time forgiving you for what I felt, as it seemed to me that you put the military before your family as I understood it at that young age. I felt since you were the only son with a wife and 2 daughters and close to retirement I couldn't understand why you went to VN. As I grew older I begin to understand that the military was part of your life, especially the 82nd Airborne Division,(Charlie Co)so you did what you felt you had to do and so I had to accept that. Probably if you had known the sorrows and complications your death brought you may have reconsidered your decision. Hopefully, we can learn from the past individually and as a nation.

So as long as I have memory and life you and mother will never be forgotten. If I had one wish from the time of your and mother's death,it would be that your remains were buried in the Arlington Cemetary because you both paid an awful price for the armed forces and to serve your country(it takes a special kind of woman to be a military wife and they should get the credit they deserve also). Both of you sacrificed and I'm grateful to have had you both in my life for the short 36 and 37 yrs that you both lived on this earth as my parents. I will say that now that I'm 48, I realize how very young you both were when you died. By the way dad I want you to know that even after your death I received straight A/1's in the 11th grade in your memory as your always encourage me to of strive for the best and you wouldn't let me use the word "can't. It gave me the foundation for survival that I would come to need for my life to make it. I did go on to one of the most prominent private catholic schools in the U.S. to obtain, you guessed it a B.S.in Nursing, since I was a caretaker of mother while you traveled to some the many countries that families couldn't go with the servicemen. You always told me to take care of your mother in your absence, since she was a severe asthmatic and had poor eyesight. I drifted into it sub-consciously, as you know my first love was math and science as you were aware of when you were living. Even at the time I graduated women,esp of color weren't encouraged to go into engineering,(it was still that teacher,nurse mentality, with marriage blended somewhere in there kind of thing for women), but thank goodness that has changed for this generation today. There are a few more opportunities, but we still have a long way to go, I know I most likely won't live see the changes that I want to see in my generation, but progress is still slowly being made. Both of your spirits lives with me always. I will always think of you both as one in spirit,but 2 separate beings,esp because you both grew up from babies up in the same little town,then married at a young age of 19, so when you were killed, a part of mother died,also. I lost a part of myself when mother died, we were so close, becoming more like sisters as I approached the mid teens,but of course I knew she was my mother and gave her that respect. After you died I felt I had to protect her until her death. You don't see many marriages doing that today with so many divorces over the slightest thing. By todays standards even my marriage of 14 yrs was long. Well, I must go for now, really so little is being said to cover this 33 yr period, there is so much more, but time constrains me and of course I don't want to lose connection again. Oh! wanted to say they also have another VN vet's memorial besides the one in Fort Bragg, N.C. and the one in your hometown, it is in Fayetteville,N.C., but I have not had a chance to go visit it.

Submitted in Love,Pain,and Sorrow,(as I know very well that it takes both both sunshine and rain to thrive!!)
BJ