THE WALL OF FACES

After spending my year with Coastal Group 21 (Vietnamese junk boats) I was relieved by Ralph as senior advisor to Coastal Group 21 while we were in Quin Nhon. It is impossible to describe the feelings I experienced when, a few months later, I heard that Ralph had been killed. He will be forever in my memory.

In ROTC Ralph would always mesmerize or irritate his classmates with his lectures about the proper way to spit shine one's shoes. I welcomed seeing him marching in my direction is his beloved Navy ROTC uniform. Always having a smile for me when everything seemed insurmountable. I often felt that he was behind my getting my future profession. I was overseas in Berlin wondering where life had taken him. I returned to Washington D.C. and was assigned to CREEP (Committee to ReElect the President) and forced to do rather unscrupulous things but in that position I was able to observe the secret workings of the Viet Nam War at the Executive Branch level. The fatalities were always kept hidden until their numbers could be explained away easily, without further acerbation of the public tolerance. I knew that Mr. Kissinger had the Peace Plan secured for a least six months by the time that day in May 1972 that I read the "Dailies". That was the euphemism for the classified fatalities list. I looked down the list and saw his name; I would not let myself believe it. I was searching the details of the fatality. " Deceased blown out of boat by enemy fire, presumed drowned." Presumed drowned--- I remembered that he hated the water but loved the Navy. Swimming was never his strong suit- he always said that it would never be a problem because NO ONE would ever kick him overboard. I thought that it had to be true and that what I was reading was a very bad joke. It's been almost 30 years now and I still think of him. Whenever life isn't fair, I think of Ralph. He isn't here to make me smile and that is not fair at all.